Ok, listen Linda… this is what I think. Working from home started as a dream. No commute, no dress code, and best of all, no Buyie from HR asking, “Why are you late?” (Answer: Traffic, Buyie. Always traffic.) But then, somewhere between Zoom calls and home-brew experiments, remote work transformed us into pretentious caricatures of ourselves—and we’re not even sorry.
The Creation of the Coffee Snob
It started innocently enough. You most probably thought, I’ll just get a Aero press; it’s quick and easy. But now look at you: weighing beans on a scale like Walter White in Breaking Bad, discussing single-origin roasts like they’re fine wines, and using terms like “mouthfeel” or “crema” in casual conversation. You’ve become the type of person who says, “I can’t do instant coffee; it’s just… offensive.”
What happened to the person who was fine with office coffee that tasted like burnt rubber and sadness? Oh, right. They moved into your spare room when you bought that R3,000 grinder “as an investment.”
Meet the Plant Parent Mafia
The WFH revolution didn’t just turn us into caffeine connoisseurs; it also made us believe we’re the next David Attenborough. Your workspace isn’t complete without at least seven plants and one of them has to be a fiddle-leaf fig because, apparently, it’s a personality trait now.
You’ve got succulents, pothos, and that one dramatic fern that wilts every time you so much as look at it wrong. And let’s not forget how you refer to them as “the kids.” You’re basically running a leafy orphanage, and we respect that.
Your Home Office: A Pinterest Showpiece
Before WFH, your “office” was a laptop precariously balanced on the couch armrest. Now? It’s a curated masterpiece. Exposed brick, mid-century modern chairs, and shelves full of books you haven’t read but strategically placed for Zoom call background aesthetics.
Gone are the days of chaos. Your workspace is so carefully staged it could double as a set for an indie rom-com. And don’t get us started on the lighting—because you definitely own a ring light now.
The Pretentious Paradox
Here’s the kicker: while we’ve been busy becoming coffee-obsessed, plant-hoarding, interior design gurus, we’ve also mastered the art of pretending we’re low-maintenance. We still say things like, “Oh, I just threw this together,” when referring to a workspace that looks like an Architectural Digest spread.
But deep down, we know the truth. Remote work hasn’t just changed how we work, it’s changed who we are. We’re unapologetically pretentious, and honestly? We wouldn’t have it any other way.
So here’s to the new you… the caffeinated, green-thumbed, aesthetically enlightened version. Because if working from home taught us anything, it’s that being pretentious is just another way of saying, I’ve got standards. And that’s not such a bad thing, is it?
