The Client, Our Frenemy
Clients are the lifeblood of our work, the keepers of the budget, the voice on the other end of the urgent email that just came in at 4:58 p.m. We owe them our payslips, our high blood pressure, and more than a few sleepless nights. It’s a complicated relationship; on the one hand, we need them to make all this magic happen, and on the other hand… well, sometimes they make us want to scream into a pillow.
From wildly unrealistic demands to bizarrely vague requests, we’ve all encountered client feedback that has sent us spiralling into a mild identity crisis. Here are ten client requests that made us wonder if we REALLY signed up for this career—and if our sanity can survive it much longer.
1. “Make it Pop!” – The Classic
Ah, the classic. This phrase has been haunting creatives since the dawn of time (or at least since PowerPoint was invented). “Make it pop!” is the client’s way of saying, “I want this to be more eye-catching,” but what they really mean is, “I have no idea what I’m looking for, but I’ll know it when I see it, and I’ll know that I hate it at least 5 more times before I say yes.”
You go through every shade of neon, add shadows, and even dabble in a little 3D effect. You present your work, heart pounding, and they say… “Can we try it with less pop?”
2. “Can You Make It Go Viral?”
This one’s particularly painful. Imagine telling your doctor, “Can you make my cold go away, like, right now?” Going viral is a delicate mixture of luck, timing, and social media black magic—none of which can be controlled. And yet, here we are, asked to replicate the digital success of the dress debate or Chewbacca Mom.
Sure, Karen, I’ll “make it go viral.” Let me just call my contacts over at “The Internet” and see what they can do. (P.S. Viral doesn’t mean “better.” Just ask that guy who dropped his phone off a cliff for likes.)
3. “Just Do Your Thing, I Trust You”
Hearing a client say, “I trust you,” feels like the warm, fuzzy validation we all crave. But “Just do your thing” is a booby trap if I’ve ever heard one. You pour your soul into an avant-garde, envelope-pushing concept, and suddenly they hit you with, “I was thinking something more traditional—maybe with fewer skulls?”
Trust us, but with a tiny asterisk that says, “Do what we already wanted but didn’t want to say.”
4. “Make It Look Like Apple but Unique to Us”
The number of times clients have asked for Apple-like minimalism but with a twist would make Steve Jobs rise from his grave. They want it sleek, timeless, and iconic, yet distinctly them. They want a website that says, “We’re professional but also fun, innovative yet classic, fresh yet familiar.”
When you end up handing over a black-and-white logo that’s as sterile as a hospital waiting room, they inevitably say, “This doesn’t really feel… unique.” Guess what? Neither does this request.
5. “I Like It, But My Mom Doesn’t”
There’s nothing like the bombshell feedback that comes after you’ve presented three meticulously crafted concepts. Just when you think you’ve nailed it, the client hits you with, “My mom says it’s a bit much.”
Somewhere out there, an entire creative industry lives in fear of a middle-aged auntie with questionable taste in clip art. Because we all know: if mom doesn’t like it, the deal’s off. We’re suddenly designing for the “Mom-Approved Seal of Mediocrity.”
6. “Can You Add Some Pizzazz?”
Oh, pizzazz—another vague word meant to mean “more exciting,” but actually says nothing at all. Pizzazz, to the creative world, could mean adding sparkles, incorporating a whacky font, or slapping on some animations that look like they belong on a MySpace page from 2003.
Some clients love pizzazz. They want pizzazz to look like the aesthetic equivalent of a disco ball having an existential crisis. So, we give them pizzazz, and in their next review, they say, “You know what… It’s a bit much. Could we try something more subtle?”
7. “You Have Creative Freedom, But I Have a Few Suggestions”
The call starts with, “I want you to have creative freedom on this one,” and immediately follows with, “Here’s a list of 72 bullet points for you to consider.” Each “suggestion” carefully deconstructs the very notion of “freedom” they initially promised, leaving us trying to fit a square peg into a round hole… while juggling fire and riding a unicycle.
By the end of it, you wonder if you’re designing for them or for some abstract ideal they once dreamt up while high on caffeine.
8. “I Want It to Look Expensive, But Keep It Low-Cost”
This one gets right to the heart of every creative’s daily struggle. “Make it look like a million bucks” on a “million-dollar budget” that’s actually just a couple of hundred dollars and a pat on the back. It’s like asking a chef for a 5-star meal, but, you know, with instant noodles as the main ingredient.
You can only imagine how beautiful the work could look with actual money to back it up… but you’re left putting duct tape on a luxury yacht, hoping no one notices the gaps.
9. “Make It Simple, Yet Complex”
Clients love simplicity—but not too simple! They want a minimalist look that somehow also packs in every feature under the sun, multiple buttons, ten color schemes, and a video with a “wow” factor.
At the end of the day, you’re left with a complex Frankenstein’s monster that sort of has an air of simplicity if you squint hard enough. But it’s all about layers, right?
10. “It Needs to Appeal to Everyone”
And finally, the mother of all client requests: “It needs to appeal to everyone.” Every age, every demographic, every level of tech knowledge—every taste in existence. They want the design that unites the world, transcends boundaries, and appeals to both a retired accountant and a 19-year-old influencer.
What they’re really asking for is a miracle, an all-in-one magic piece that everyone will universally agree on. Guess what? If the internet has taught us anything, it’s that people don’t agree on *anything*.
The Client is Always… Impossible
At the end of the day, client requests like these are just part of the business. We’ve all had our sanity tested, our visions destroyed, and our souls crushed. But, let’s be honest—without these absurd moments, our jobs would be a lot less interesting. And without clients, we’d all be making “passion projects” with a grand audience of zero.
So, here’s to the clients who drive us up the wall, and here’s to every “Can you make it pop?” that has led us to question our life choices. As much as we hate to admit it, they keep us on our toes, and sometimes, even make us better creatives.
But seriously, if I hear the word “pizzazz” one more time…
